Showing posts from 2016

Put it Down

I'm going to start this post off by asking you to look around. Where are you right now? What are the people doing? Maybe you're sitting in a coffee shop, in the library, at work, or sitting in a restaurant. Look at those around you and count how many people are sitting on their phones. Texting, scrolling Facebook, snap chatting, or checking their emails. I can almost guarantee that more often than not those people you are observing are sitting on their phones.

We live in a society that is all consumed by our electronic devices. I am 110% guilty of this myself and I am quite certain that a large majority of you reading this are as well. I don't want to admit it, but I have been completely sucked into this generational adoration with technology. The constant feeling of needing to have my phone with me as if it is s a comfort item. The feeling that if we aren't checking social media we are missing out on something, when so often social media only makes us feel more depres…

3 Years + Holidays

Facebook reminded me this morning, that three years ago today, Alex and I took these Christmas card pictures. It's funny how time beats on and everything changes. I can go days without thinking about Alex now and I can walk through life with a lot less sadness. But then something as simple as Facebook can remind you of some of the best memories, and the past comes rushing back in. 
When Alex first passed away, I didn't know if I would ever be able to make it through a day without wanting to talk to her. For weeks, even months I would pick up my phone and start to text her before realizing I couldn't do that any more. For so long I would gather thoughts in my head of things I wanted to tell her and stories I wanted to share. For far too long I went to sleep night after night just praying I would dream about her. She was on my mind all the time, and I never thought I would be able to function the same without her. Well, three years later, and a lot has changed. About two yea…

Feels Like Home

Growing up, my family had a very strong connection to the University of Wisconsin- Madison. My
mom went to school there, along with my grandparents and countless aunts and uncles. My dad grew up in Madison as well, and a handful of relatives still reside right around the city. I started going to Badger games when I was a toddler and we have had season tickets for the football games for as long as I can remember. Visiting Madison was a normal routine for my family, and in a sense it was just another familiar place in my childhood.

I think my sister knew from the time she was in grade school that UW Madison was her dream school. I'm pretty sure…well actually I am positive that was my dream too, until I was about 17 years old, but life has a funny way of working out as we all know. But any who, I'll never forget the day during my sister's senior year of high school when she found out she was accepted. I can recall walking into the house and seeing nearly a dozen badger ball…

So tell me, what is it you plan to do?

Last summer I made a real conscious effort to live with adventure and really get out of my comfort zone. Growing up, Alex was always more adventurous than I was. I liked to play it safe, and I enjoyed my comfort zone. I liked schedules and organized plans. Alex liked to live life miles from her comfort zone, embracing spontaneity each day. So, in one of my efforts to really channel her, I dared to be adventurous. And I must say, I had an incredible summer. I've really made an effort to live each day in honor of Alex. Living each day with intention and a purpose. In a sense this is a follow up to this post from last July. Because one thing I think I try to drill into everyone I talk to, is that this life is so precious. 
So tell me, what is it you're going to do to make the most out of this life? I don't think I truly started living until Alex passed away. Sure, I did some exciting stuff and lived an interesting life for 18 years. But honestly, I don't think I genuinel…

What I Know Now + 5 Things I've Learned

When Alex died nearly three summers ago, I was instantly thrown into a club that no one wants to join, and no one thinks they ever will need to join. The club goes by many names, but one thing I can say with certainty, is that this club holds some of the most beautiful souls I have ever met.

The "club" consists of individuals that lost loved ones, some that lost siblings, some who lost loved ones to drug overdoses, and those who lost their loved ones unexpectedly, and all too soon. There is an unspeakable bond between people who can relate to the grief and loss that you feel after losing a loved one. I never wanted to join any of these "clubs", but as life has it, I couldn't imagine myself without these people now. They have taught me, and will continue to teach me so much about embracing this beautiful life.

As I look back on these past few years without Alex and the past three years of grieving the loss of my sister to a drug overdose, I have learned so much.…

Life is Now

As we grow older and the years go by, life only seems to move faster, and faster. I just finished my third year of college and this is the first time it has really hit me that college is without a doubt going to be some of the best years of my life and a time where I'm meeting some of the best people. When I finished my last final I was talking to one of my friends who was just days away from graduating. She said to me, "Another year down!" and it was weird because it's my third year of college, second and a half year at concordia, but really only my first year of nursing school….so wait what year is that? (I promise I'm just as confused as you probably were reading that) That really made me reflect back on these past few years.

Can I say it again that oh my goodness do these years fly by. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was getting ready for college with so many plans and I look at myself now and see how none of those plans worked out, but that the even…

Slow Down

When I set out on this journey to become a nurse, I knew that I would be doing things like giving shots, caring for sick individuals, and helping out post-op patients. Of course, I knew I would be impacting many lives. It kind of comes with the territory. But one thing nursing school has taught me, however, is that more often than not, these patients and residents are changing mine. And these patients and residents are bringing out the best in me.

You never know what your clinical day will be like. But I think that not knowing what to expect going into these clinical situations is kind of the beauty of it. You wake up at 4:00 am, put on your scrubs and stethoscope, head to the clinical site as the sun slowly rises, and enter into a field of unknown. I know I've experienced so little right now compared to what is to come, but so far, God reminds me each and every day why I decided to pursue nursing.

When I was at clinical a few weeks ago, I was chatting with a woman in her mid-90&#…

Perhaps this is the moment

Do you think the events in our lives each serve a specific purpose? That the classic quote "Everything happens for a reason" is as infamously true as everyone claims it to be. I don't know if I could live by that quote…but I certainly don't think the events in this lifetime are random at all.

When we think back on moments in life, it's so easy to think that everything just happens spontaneously. That things occur and events take place out of nowhere. Maybe I thought like that when I was younger. But after losing Alex, I don't think I could ever think like that again.

After losing my sister, it took a long time for me to look at my life and see that everything was going to be ok. I convinced myself of it immediately, but I didn't truly believe it for over a year. Maybe it wasn't the best coping mechanism, but the process of coming to terms with what had happened and the events of both mine and my sister's life prior to her death helped me. It took …